Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
