Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
