She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
