Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
