And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize