Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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