He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
