Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
