I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
