I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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