Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
