"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
