No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
