if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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