What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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