if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize