do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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