grandma shit on top of the toilet
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
