No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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