I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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