A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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