i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
