i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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