i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
