Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
