i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
