When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize