Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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