More tranny stories later!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
