Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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