took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
