It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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