genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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