dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
