I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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