he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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