You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
