You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
