hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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