who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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