i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
