I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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