He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
