Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
