I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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