U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize