I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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