Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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