Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
