so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
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