you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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