I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
