In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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