my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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