1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
