then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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