i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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