I cockslap morals
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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