next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
