What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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