some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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