How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
