i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
