I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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